The Stories Our Children Tell Us

(published by The Jakarta Post on 29 Apr 2014. Click here)

The shocking, saddening sexual abuse of a 6-year-old kindergarten pupil by cleaning staff recently, has alerted us to the threats our children face every day. Our innocent children are vulnerable, even when they are at school. We consider school the safest place for kids — but in this case it has failed to guarantee our children’s security, even it is a prestigious international school.

Not only have children become the targets of predators moving freely at school, but also they suffer traumatic impacts for the rest of their lives. Only the grace of God can heal a wounded soul. We would like to convey a deep sympathy and pray for the innocent victim concerned. I imagine schools as places where children are happy while they are learning and playing. Schools should be places where our children feel at home. They go to school to know the world better and in the knowledge they are expected to make the world better someday.

But do schools provide all the things needed by our children? Are school programs defined according to international standard curricula? We, as parents, put our trust in schools as well as teachers when we drop off our children in front of the school gate every day. Before we let them enter, we always give them a kiss and say: “I love you, be nice in class and have a good day.”

We hope our children enjoy their activities with their classmates. During five to six hours they spend at school, our soul should be at peace as we are sure their teachers are taking care of our children responsibly. When we chose schools for our children, we let schools be part of our plan to build our children’s future. We are not reluctant to dig deep into our pockets as long as our children get the benefit, even though we know that today many schools behave more like businesses rather than educational institutions.

Never mind that we, the parents, must work very hard for our children’s education, because the late Nelson Mandela once said: “Education is the most powerful weapon that you can use to change the world.” It’s our dream to see our children someday able to make the world better. But now we realize that this dream is threatened.

When we pick up our children after school, we want to see them smile. We want to hear about their activities in class. We want to see them become talented storytellers in front of us, because we know whatever they tell us will be a beautiful story. But now the happy faces have gone, replaced by tears. Their stories are not about joy or subjects that should be at the center of a child’s world. Instead our children tell stories of fear. “I am afraid of the school’s toilet,” they said. And we parents tremble as we listen.

Meanwhile, school teachers and principals appear to know nothing of the stories of the children they teach. Perhaps this is because they are too busy to listen.

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Serpong, 26 Apr 2014
Titus J.